2019 LWNN Power Rankings - Week 3

Week 1 brought us nail biters and Week 2 brought us duds. Week 3 however decided to toe the line and do a little of both. While there were a couple stompings, there were two close games, and one ending that might just have given us our game of the year. Certainly the most consequential week of LWNN football yet. Let the post trade moratorium chaos ensue!

8. Saskatchewan Mooseknuckles (-3)
Moose season is off to a hot start in the LWNN. Coach Carney dropped a thriller when Nick Williams sacked his heart with 4 seconds to go on MNF and sent the Knucks to a franchise worst 0-3 start. It pains even the mean spirited members of the media to put ol SaySay in the last spot here. It is possible though that the Knuckles treat this coming matchup with the division leading Epps as a do or die game. Coach Carney has never partaken in draft pick trading, but rumors of a mass rebuild are swarming around the herd. The Knucks head on the road (a place they deny exists) in a must win situation.
Next: @Epps

T7: Sixteens (- -) and Desperados (-5)
Look. These 2 squads are coming off a couple rough weeks. The previous 2 league champions (including the 2018 League With No Name Champions) are battling each other this week for what is the theoretical last playoff spot in the always prevalent if-the-season-ended-today talks. The winner will be 2-2 and actually looking solid. The loser will be 1-3 and spiraling. With Barkley sidelined for possibly all of the regular season, Coach Tad can’t afford a loss. With all of his adoring fans and the LWNN ratings at stake and only his good looks and charm and money and current championship and plethora of draft picks left over afterwards, Coach Walton can’t afford a loss. We’ll leave the tiebreaker for this spot up to this weeks matchup.
Next: Desperados @ MFF

5. Johnny Cool Guys (+3)
He came. He yelled. He snuck by with a buzzer beating sack. The self proclaimed “Real #1” got on the board this week in a GOTY candidate finish, avoiding an 0-3 and likely front office panic. Coach Hazen put on for the LWNN Gameday crowd and the 3-time* champions now look forward to hosting the only remaining undefeated team remaining, with a chance to make the Strong Side division a real race again, massive, massive game for the Cool Guys upcoming.
Next: vs Birdz

4. T2’s (- -)
A nice win for the Tan Tan’s in this one. Luckily this was not a Twin Bowl game. Coach Tanner remains undefeated in non Twin Bowls in 2019.
Next: vs Phat Cats

3. JuJu on that backup QB (-2)
Looks like this column will survive for another week. The reign of treyrror is over for now. The Epps feel in a close one to the Birdz, and now will try to bounce back against the now lowly Mooseknuckles. Don’t lose Coach Epperson. If you do, you’ll be meme’d.
Next: vs Knuckles

2. Phat Cats (+4)
Well, when you win 2 games by a combined 151 points, you get a bump. The fighting Dalvins proved week 1 wasn’t a fluke and destroyed the Desperados by an astonishing 89 points. For anyone keeping count at home, that is a point shy of 15 touchdowns. Now the other Twin lies in wait. But be careful Coach Wood. This isn’t the Twin Bowl, so you could be in danger.
Next: @T2’s

1. Big Bird Buckaroos (+2)
Then there was one. The Birdz won yet again, ousting the Epps in the battle of the last remaining undefeateds. The 3-0 Birdz now get a rejuvenated Johnnys team on the road in Johnnyville. If the Birdz can win, they can send Coach Hazen again spiraling downward. So far the yearly Bird Flu has yet to catch up to Coach Nick, so it’s good he’s winning now. If we’ve learned anything, it’s that death comes for all. But it comes for Andrew first. *empowered flapping*
Next: @Cool Guys

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