LWNN Preseason Ranking performances: Worst to Best

If there is one thing to learn from our yearly preseason rankings, it’s that we suck at them. Aside from predicting Coach Tad as last years future champion (albeit with an entirely different roster than what we used to predict it), the LWNN coaches have a prediction track record worse than Coach Hazen predicting Yankee records. So, how did each team hold up to their respective preseason expectations in 2018? Let’s take a worst-to-best walk down Vegas lane, shall we?

First off, a reminder of the 2018 draft night preseason rankings:
1 Tanner (1 shy of unanimous)
2 Tad
3 Andrew
4 Dillon
T5 Donald
T5 Hunter
7 Sayer
8 Trey (unanimous)

8. Coach Tanner
Preseason: 1  Actual: 5 (-4)
The WR draft of a lifetime, a TE setting an all time catch record, and an MVP candidate QB. That does not sound like a disappointment. Unfortunately for Coach Tanner, there was no super stud to carry this team to a title like LWNN Hall of Famers Marshawn Lynch or Dez Bryant. The running backs on this team participated in a conveyor belt of suck and death, and the 2 time champ went from preseason odds favorite to one and done.
Note: Coach Tanner has not beaten Coach Tad since 2016 (incl playoffs)

7. Coach Andrew
Preseason: 3  Actual: 6 (-3)
Not incredibly bold to predict the Birdz as 3rd place seeing as they are usually hovering around that spot at season’s end. Unfortunately for Coach Andrew, the yearly Bird Flu struck again, as stars such as AJ Green (foot) and Kareem Hunt (foot) were gone by the stretch run. Coach Andrew remains the only remaining coach to have never reached the title game. A long look needs to be taken at the training and conditioning staff this offseason.
Note: *sad flapping*

6. Coach Hazen
Preseason: 5(tied)  Actual: 8 (-3)
The “Original Champion” remains just that, as Coach Hazen and his Johnnys are saddled with the Pinkshirt of Suck for the next year. Not a major ramification in his fall from 5 to 8, but still a rough tumble. Coach Hazen did manage to gather some 2019 picks, so there is upside remaining for next year. Hope pink is his lucky drafting color.
Note: Coach Hazen has never finished higher than 8th as a married man.

5. Coach Tad
Preseason:  2  Actual:  3 (-1)
Not too shabby of a showing for the defending champion, who only comes in at #5 because he is the last remaining team to finish in the negative. An early projection lead in the final four had him looking solid to stay in the top 2 this year, but Deandre Hopkins is a dream killer. Overall, a respectable showing for Coach Tad.
Note: Coach Tad has never won a title as a married man.

4. Coach Epperson
Preseason: 8  Actual:  7 (+1)
Well, it’s not last. I guess we all can suck it. Not sure how many of us can make the parade though.
Note: Since winning the 2015 title, Coach Trey has been in all 3 POS series and has yet to reenter the playoffs.

3. Coach Carney
Prediction:  7  Actual:  4 (+3)
We didn’t rank Coach Carney 2nd?? FOR THE MEMEZ?! That’s unfortunate. The Buffalo Bills followed up their runner-up dynasty with 20 years of suck. Is this the beginning of the decline for the Buffalo Sayers? Maybe this is what will finally convince him to put down the flip phone and trade some picks.
Note: This is the first time Coach Carney has failed to finish either 2nd or 3rd in franchise history.

2. Coach Wood
Preseason:  4  Actual:  2 (+2)
Week 16 night games hate Coach Wood. But shoot if he didn’t have an impressive run. An underrated WR crew and the best trade (McCaffrey) of the season allowed for a trophy butt appearance. Unfortunately the ghost of Dez’s arm is still very much alive for the Cats that are Phat.
Note: Since 2013, Coach Wood’s season has only ended in 1 of 2 places: The POS series (2014, 15, 17) or the title game (2016, 18)

1. Coach Walton
Preseason: Wrong  Actual: The Best

SUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKK ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

Note: Went 7-2 after week 6, and was only outscored once. Also, suck it.

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