League With No Name

Week 1 brought us nail biters and Week 2 brought us duds. Week 3 however decided to toe the line and do a little of both. While there were a couple stompings, there were two close games, and one ending that might just have given us our game of the year. Certainly the most consequential week of LWNN football yet. Let the post trade moratorium chaos ensue! 8. Saskatchewan Mooseknuckles (-3) Moose season is off to a hot start in the LWNN. Coach Carney dropped a thriller when Nick Williams sacked his heart with 4 seconds to go on MNF and sent the Knucks to a franchise worst 0-3 start. It pains even the mean spirited members of the media to put ol SaySay in the last spot here. It is possible though that the Knuckles treat this coming matchup with the division leading Epps as a do or die game. Coach Carney has never partaken in draft pick trading, but rumors of a mass rebuild are swarming around the herd. The Knucks head on the road (a place they deny exists) in a must win situation....

This was a crapfest, let’s be honest. After Week 1 brought us Monday Night madness and Game of the Year candidates, Week 2 followed up with blowouts and ratings duds. The week was not without impact however, as the undefeateds and only-defeateds were both cut in half, leaving 2 2-0’s and 2 0-2’s. Let’s see if the media is buying or selling hype after a pair of weeks. 8. Johnny Cool Guys (-3) LWNN Gameday was in the house, but the Cool Guys apparently were not. As far as regular season games go, the Johnnys have now lost 6 straight going back to last year (9 including POS game) and are winless since Week 9 of last season. The Cool Guys now have to regroup and face the other 0-2 squad. All of a sudden, this is desperation time. We know Johnny values team discipline, but he won’t want to bench AB for this one. Next: vs Knuckles 7. MFF Sixteens (- -) The Sixteens lost 5 games in route to a 2018 League With No Name Championship in 2018, when they won the League With No Name Champio...

Week 1 of the 2019 season has come and gone. There were surprises all around, and the return to our classic division openers returned some quality ratings. 3 of the 4 wins involved comebacks and lead changes on Monday Night, showing once again that Commissioner Walton is a savvy schedule maker and business guru. Now that Week 2 is just 2 days away, it’s time for the first updated power rankings of the season! Take them all as fact! Reminder of the preseason rankings: 1. Tad 2. Trey 3. Hunter 4. Tanner 5. Sayer 6. Andrew 7. Dillon 8. Donald 8. Phat Cats (-1) The Cats actually had a pretty solid showing, reaching triple digits on the scoreboard and posting a top 5 scoring week in the League. Over half of that came from 2018 League With No Name Champion Dalvin Cook (23pts) and Dak Prescott (33). Unfortunately for the Cats, the rest of the skill players either crapped out or died. A decent outing for week 1, but until everyone else starts contributing, #DaksOut...

2. Bend it Like Beckham def. 15’s 100-97 (Wk 3) More proof that the 2018 15’s could only be beaten with ties on the road, or spectacular performances. Realistically, this game should’ve been a blowout in favor of the eventual champs, but Coach Tanner had some magic up his sleeve in week 3. Despite having a ragtag lineup that included LatMur filling in for the already injured 2nd round pick Dalvin Cook, Gio Bernard covering for Joe Mixon, and Marvin Jones being forced to start, MFF was in decent position to get a win and push to 2-1 on the season. However, an already struggling Zeke fumbled at the 25 yard line in the 4th quarter on what looked to be a possible touchdown run, and the door was left open for Drew Brees and co. to steal a game. Brees dove across the endzone in Atlanta to tie the game with 1:15 to go, forcing an overtime period in which he and Michael Thomas would put up another 10 fantasy points, including ANOTHER Drew Brees touchdown, as he selfishly scored on a 1st dow...

4. Bend it Like Beckham The top half of the rankings starts where the tier 2 of the rankings ends. The tallied votes have a pretty clear top 3, but Coach Tanner garnered in more than half of the 4th place votes as well as a 2 and a 3, so he’s in striking distance should someone choke. And I mean.. come on. That’ll happen. BEST CASE SCENARIO: The ceiling is the roof with this squad once again because of the wide outs. Coach Tanner enters another year as a respected professor at Wide Receiver U., and the quad of Amari, Michael Thomas, a rehabbed Cooper Kupp and TY Hilton carry the load. Josh Jacobs proves the doubters wrong by proving he does indeed exist, and he wasn’t a typo that ESPN put onto draft boards, and Leveon shows up to work. The T2’s make a run at the division title and a deep playoff push. WORST CASE SCENARIO: Leveon stays on vacation. Or plays for the Jets. Kupp re-dies and Amari falls into the Dak trap and gets a case of the 4-yard-outs. Coach Tanner’s team finds i...

As noted in previous rankings, we suck at rankings. But if there is one thing LWNN coaches do well, it’s overreact to the preconceived failures of others. The 2019 coaches preseason rankings are in, and with them are expectations. Some teams expectations died faster than Andrew Luck’s career. Some expectations died faster than Lamar Miller’s season. AJ Green is also hurt. So, now is the time to explain these rankings, and how accurate or not so that they could end up being. Hang on to your ACL’s. 8. Mr Fantasy Football XVI The 15’s won the championship. After making the decision to trade all their 2019 draft picks to win a championship, winning a championship was the result. The aftermath of winning the championship includes winning a championship. Plus a few less picks. Good thing they won a championship  BEST CASE SCENARIO: We’ve seen a team rise from last in the preseason rankings to a title before (circa the Beast Epps of 2015), but Big Game Doug Baldwin retired an...